Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
