ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
