just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
