Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Randomize
