Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
