CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
