his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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