I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
