he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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