3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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