I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
