Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
