Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Houston, we have a squirter
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
