I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I love having hate sex.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
third nipple confirmed
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
