arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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