does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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