I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he thought i was a dude.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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