how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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