i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
