So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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