Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
