So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
