Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize