i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My Higher Power is John Stamos
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize