Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
