it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
