please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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