After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
