just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
