just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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