i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
