I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
