im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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