community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
someone owes me an orgasm
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize