My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
