i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I pour the whiskey from now on
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
