Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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