You smell like stripper and shame
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I will be naked everywhere
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
