Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
