You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
