There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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