THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
