1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
