Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
