Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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