I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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