Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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