I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
