she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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