I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
