He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Randomize
