At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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