I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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