yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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