Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize