Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Randomize
