i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
