I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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