Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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