Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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