Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
