hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize