hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
